Hello everyone!
Given that I had to write two posts this evening, originally I was planning on Day 29 being super disappointing and irrelevant. However, after my reply to this post received more likes than the original, Benjamin Williams has returned for a second appearance in a week! To talk about something maybe a bit more…easy to understand this time. At least for a few of you…
Thanks again to Benjamin, and enjoy!
I’ve been brought back to help Daniel suffer through his poor life choices.
Fun fact: I’m ginger
Less fun fact: I am called a carrot person
More fun fact: Dolphins are still endangered. Hehehe.
So, I am called a carrot. This is not only confusingly offensive, ““Oi, root vegetable dickhead!” (?)”, but also factually incorrect. If I were to be a carrot in this sense, I would have green hair and be from Essex, hence carrots are obviously victimised in society as no-one truly sees them as who they are, orange with green hair.
I could have written this about real stereotypes and prejudices, but they don’t interest me. Gingers are systematically insulted throughout their lives, unless they are beautiful and/or Ron Weasley, but the question is why?
*Insert pictures of Nicole Kidman (or any famous awesome ginger) and Rupert Grint looking awful*
(A message from Daniel: Amy Adams is cooler than Nicole Kidman AND more ginger. Take that Benjamin!)
Well let’s look at history. Traditionally, Satan has been seen as a ginger goat, yet the goat community have not suffered at all from this. I assume this causes the God-fearing to hate the auburn race, but what else? Gingers have always been associated with having tempers, because obviously our heads are burning, cos they are orange? Geddit? #banter. Oddly enough, this actually happens nowadays because gingers are victimized to the point of exhaustion.
Maybe it’s similar to the victimisation of black people? I mean, the first modern slaves were Irish, and some must have been ginger. It’s the initial fear of a difference in physical appearance that causes people to insult and keep gingers at a distance, because change is scary, and the world is full of wimps.
The range of insults always confuses me as well. I understand many, such as Duracell™ or Wotsit, but some of the origins of these insults are mysterious. For example, why are gingers called ginger nuts? Why are they called ginger in the first place? We would have to delve into linguistics to find out, and it would probably relate to some sort of Celtic, because they have the largest concentration of gingers, but how did that come to mean the same thing as a spicy herb? (It’s a herb, I checked Wiki)
South Park is also responsible for this abuse. I mean, many people were pretty neutral about gingers, had a friend who was ginger, didn’t really care about freckles or whatever. But now, we are like vampires, because we burn in sunlight, freckles are marks of the devil and we have no soles. #nogingerfishmongers
I’m kind of waiting for the most recent cultural revolution to fully finish. Currently, “redheads” are being seen more and more as a desirable thing in women, with ginger-philiac traffic on pornography websites shooting up in recent years.
So, all of you gingers out there, gear up for a huge amount of sexual intercourse in future, and do more thigh exercises, because the revolution is going to be upon us, and you better be ready.
Thanks, Benjamin
PS: Ed Sheeran is a bit shit though
My Factless Autobiography 